Satire Snippet: Marlena counsels NickNotSteve

For Laura who might be my biggest fan!

A while back I had created a little snippet about what would happen to poor NickNotSteve if Marlena had taken him up on his offer to see him as a therapist. It would go something like this:

Scene: Marlena’s office to see patients. Nick walks in and notices all the pictures of her and John. A few scattered pictures of a two blonds, both whom Nick recognizes to be Belle and Carrie are on her desk. Marlena is waiting for him with a pad and pen. She welcomes him and asks him to sit down.

N: Thanks, you know, I have been through a good many therapists in the world.

M: [Gasp] You haven’t come to see me though. [Gasp] My personal experiences of the past give me limitless opportunities to help others. [Squints]

N: Well, good. Where do you want me to start?

M: Where do you feel like starting? [Gasp] I know, tell me what led you to come see me.

N: Well, everyone says you are a good therapist and all. I know John and Kayla were close.

M: They are just friends. That’s all.

N: Um, I know. They thought they were brother and sister. Actually, wasn’t it you who was convinced he was Roman?

M: I was younger then. Certainly only in my 20s so I could be in my 40s now. During that time, I was missing Roman a good deal as he was presumed dead. When I met John I felt this incrediable connection. Something that was so strong that I naturally felt the guilt of comparing him over Roman.

N: Yea. [Nervous] Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

M: [Gasp] No, no. Please stay. I know I can help you. If there is anything that John has taught me, is you can do anything you put your mind to. Why, when I was kidnapped and hypnotized by Alex North into believing I was still married to him, John didn’t let the mind control get in the way of our love…

N: You were brainwashed?

M: Hypnotized. There is a difference.

N: How?

M: NicknotSteve, until you accept you are really Steve Johnson, there is nothing I can do for you.

N: I have accepted it, its just I can remember anything about it.

M: Just long John, who suffered so much not only when he first came to Salem but also when Roman returned.

N: Um, ok. Look can we talk about me now?

M: [Gasps] But we were! Please continue.

N: Ok, [rolls his eye]I just feel like I’m going through an act or something . I want to feel something. It’s like I’m possessed by someone that doesn’t care…

M: Oh, possession. Look, I certainly understand what that feels like. First, you get a weird smirk on your face and you will start to see everything in puke yellow colors because your eyes will literally change color.

N: WTH are you talking about?

M: Oh, did Kayla not share with you I was possessed by the devil? Well, she wasn’t here for that. That was during the time Salem was being covered in hell and brimstones…literally. [laughs] Good times.

N: [stands up] I have to go.

M: So soon?


2 thoughts on “Satire Snippet: Marlena counsels NickNotSteve

  1. Hey! Thanks for the mention! And I am your biggest fan! šŸ™‚

    I laughed just as hard as I did all those months ago when I read this. I think you need to do a part II – Marlena counsels Steve in the looney bin.


  2. I think you are one of my biggest fans. LOL. I am sorry that earlier one got eaten when the board went down but I did some from memory. Teaches me to save my Fanfic masterpieces huh?

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