So I was just thinking today about the earlier discussion we had at someone’s blog, (I think it was MaryPickford’s blog) about how the Internet feeds into your obsessions and allows them to continue to last instead of burning out.
Sometimes it’s a positive or negative thing. I came back to Days of Our Lives last summer because I was curious to see SN and MB returning to the show after all this time. Though I always considered myself a fan, I don’t think I have thought of them in at least 5 or 6 years, maybe even longer. With watching a few cool clips on Soapnet, I experienced what can only be described as euphoria when I discovered some clips available online. When I say some…there wasn’t really a permanent repository yet. People uploaded the clips for a short time until the free hosting site expired and to get them back up you would have to request them again.
Then came a wonderful user who began hosting them on her private site. Meanwhile, I discovered other sites that housed other clips. Finally, I discovered the official Steve & Kayla board. I began making friends. I also learned some psychological truths. I have for the last 2 years inexplicably loved the character of Sawyer on Lost. He was more than just your typical sexy con man but I could not put my finger why I was so instantly drawn to him. Then I realized after watching the early clips of S&K, “My God, he is the 21st century version of Steven Earl Johnson (well, with two eyes)”. Sadly, my affection for Kate is not nearly as strong and maybe it’s because she is no Kayla?
Actually, that’s a positive side to Internet feeding. I was able to satisfy myself with seeing old clips sometimes for the first time while being able to see I am not alone. There is a negative side though. A few seasons back I was really into CSI and the Internet burned me bad. Why? It gave me a reason to hope that a very unlikely (though reasonable and chemistry enriched) couple had a chance to burn brightly on that show. A show, which incidentally, is supposed to focus on the professional but not the private lives of the characters. It’s obvious I lost that battle and my enjoyment of CSI has been thus affected forever. I still watch, and sadly as if it’s a sickness within myself, I might actually find myself all excited over the possible pairing of Hodges and Wendy which could propel me into the same pattern of Internet feeding that disappointed me so much the first time.
I am so torn. On one hand, I feel better and happier for knowing my fellow friends in the SKork world (I so invented that word BTW!) and know even if the storyline goes completely south for us, we can keep each other happy by clips, music videos and fanfiction. On the other hand, if the Internet existed as such back in the eighties, I might have found some friends who initially preferred Jennifer with Emilio (there I admitted it! This is to make MP feel better about her own confession) over Jack. The Internet is both a blessing and a curse.