The Shooting of Jett Carver, Stupid Agent Man

So today I knew what was coming. Jett Carver is going to be shot. In the back. By Rawlings. I expected the acting to be bad. I had no idea Marcus Patrick could be this bad. I think he’s sunk lower then Austen Peck and moved into JED territory. (Hopefully someone will post this on youtube and I will link back here. If Jett wasn’t a different race I’d think he was John and Marlena’s long lost son). ETA: Thanks to GBB for posting the video, because all must see the great acting of Marcus Patrick having a floorgasm.

First, the briefing

We have Jett who looks like the ISA agent from Florida compared to the formal wear the other agents donned for the occasion, outlining his brilliant plan in capturing Rawlings and Horton. The plan is to take place inside a casino, surrounded by hundreds of innocent bystanders. Apparently there is no need to inform the casino with their many guards as well as security cameras because Jett has it all under control.

Second, it starts to go all wrong!

Oh no! Stephanie informs Chelsea and Jett that Jeremy isn’t going to listen to reason and he will run! Yes, he’s going to run! Jett is shocked that Stephanie isn’t able to “talk him out of it” and then convince him to “pretty please” fly these group of no doubt pissed off foreign girls out of Vegas! “UGH!” he says! How could this happen? Certainly not because days earlier when Jeremy tried to come clean to Jett and tell him EVERYTHING about the whole operation stupid agent man shrugged him off (literally) and told him he had to take the consequences of his crimes. It’s hard to fathom that Jeremy chose not to go down with dignity and honor and allow himself to be arrested but instead is going to run away! That’s like taking the easy way out! Who would think that Jeremy would do that? If only Jett had some sort of idea that Jeremy was going to run…so he could alter his plan and keep that from happening or maybe talk to Jeremy first!

Third, more problems!

Jett: Chelsea! Get up to that room! I mean it! Get up there, MAN! Man? That doesn’t sound right! I can’t take the chance you might get hurt! Yes, YOU, girl! Girl, that’s it! I must keep you safe, forget poor Jeremy who I have mentioned had saved my life presumably during our time spent in the military who is now probably going to be shot while trying to run when I could have easily helped him strike a deal making it easier to get the bad guys! Or Stephanie, who I have known longer than you and really has been strung along by her loser boyfriend and put into such a mess she never dreamed would have happened. Or Max who I talked into putting up his money for the main business I knew perfectly well was just a cover for the illegal side business but what could I do? I needed money for the illegal business. Not to mention dozens of poor, clueless girls who have been pimped out to jerks all over a town known as sin city and probably can never recover again! No it’s you Chelsea! You can’t be hurt. Here, let me try to kiss you in my awkward way.

Rawlings is there!

Rawlings aims his gun at Jett from afar. He takes a very…long…time…to do this while holding his gun in plain sight for anyone around to see, including the numerous cameras that all casinos have. Wait! This means he must have known about the sting! How could that be? How could he have found out? Jett took extra care to keep it secret. Other then telling Max. And telling Chelsea. Oh and discussing it openly on the plane with bored strangers in close proximity.

The shot!

Chelsea: You were going to kiss me? But now you have leaned back with your mouth open and drooling. Wait, is this an impression? I know, Homer Simpson wanting a donut, right?

Jett: Ow! This hurts. I need to get down. No I mean, down. Oh, the shot has created some kind of spasm and I need to boogie. Man, I hope Chelsea is checking out my butt.


Screams! People running, even though the shot was silent and a guy falling down in a casino happens more often than someone winning in a casino. But that doesn’t matter cause out comes Jett’s backup. They ask what happened? It seems Jett has trained them well as they jumped up to run after…whomever this Rawlings person is. Reportedly one agent asks the other if he has a picture of the guy.

Jett gurgles blood. Chelsea thankfully is glad she didn’t have to kiss him if that is what was in his mouth. She calls out for help, but will it come?

Jett: You know, maybe I should have put up the money.

Chelsea: You think?


8 thoughts on “The Shooting of Jett Carver, Stupid Agent Man

  1. My favorite part was how they made Vegas, the city I do live in, seem like it was East Berlin circa 1950. I won’t deny the Sin City title is deserved, but come on!

    For real, why were they trying to “escape” Las Vegas? Did I miss something? Certainly these poor women who had been smuggled in (from Salem?) weren’t going to be arrested. Forget trying to fly them out (and yeah, airport security — even for private planes, is no joke — undocumented passangers and Rawlings got a gun in there… NO WAY… Metro shot a guy for brandishing a knife last year)… why didn’t anyone just round the women up and take them to the police?

    Oh wait, because Jett was in charge. That’s right, I forgot.

    Also, probably too much realism for a soap. I forget that too. 😛

  2. I haven’t even watched it yet, and now I don’t know if I want to, because your snarkilicious description of it is seared in my brain and the reality can’t possibly live up to it.

  3. Slynn: Max and Jeremy came up with the brillant way that if maybe they took the girls back hopefully no one will notice (seriously). Jett wasn’t exactly happy with that but seemed not to care because he was more interested in grabbing Rawlings.

    Paula: Thank you. I’m rather proud of it. People watched today for the Santeen love scene. I decided to instead enjoy the MST3K experience that DOOL created for me instead.

  4. Very good. Jett calling Chelsea “man” was kind of hilarious. Actually, the whole thing was hilarious, up to and including the sudden fast-forward from yesterday’s episode. And the packed casino emptying out so there is no one but Chels there to help him out, at all. Guh.

  5. Thanks. However, Mary, I might have given Marcus a few more breaks then I did since he was against Chick, I do think yesterday’s floorhumping move would have sent me over the edge no matter who he was.

    And Zara, the “man” thing was extremely distracting (but still have to give him some credit for not calling her “bro” I guess).

    So as hilarious as their scenes were yesterday, that’s enough. I am dreading seeing more today.

  6. Oh dear, that was even funnier via your description.

    I told David when he got home late last night that he was spared a love scene and Stupid Agent Man humping the floor and he said “he’d try to carry on.”

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