Dr. Surftool

As many of you know, we have had grannysex revelation this week on DOOL.  In honor of that, as well as following in the footsteps of Stupid Agent Man, I wrote a song dedicated to Dr. Daniel Jonas to be sung to the Motley Crue hit: Dr. Feelgood.

Chichi haired Danny is a surfing hard fool
prefers the kiddie pool.
Got a hydrogen car, green bizarre
Knows it’s a pile of wood.
But the surfing doc  been around the world
believes he’s a real bad ass,
cause he swims with the sharks
and likes it all “world-class”

He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool
Cause he’s says things like “Right On”
He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool

Kate around the corner Salem whore
She ain’t getting laid
Kate spots him, goes to ask him
They make it in the shade
Granny action, does doctoring all day
But at night he’ll always be found
tequila in sight
it’s the boy’s night
Come Gnarly time, he’s going down!

He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool
Cause he’s says things like “Bounce now”
He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool
He’s gonna be your TannenStein

I’ve got one thing you’ll understand
(Dr. SurfTool)
he’s not a discriminating man
(Dr. SurfTool)
As long as they call him sexy
(Dr. SurfTool)
He’ll do it with anybody, even Lexieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah

He’ll tell you he’s Kahuna
he’s one with the waves
Surfing up the Great White Way,
Tells his boss she’s a bag of chips
while pushing Chelsea away.
He fucks grandma Kate day and night
so now it’s suddenly all right.
Dating granddaughter Chelsea
without any guilt
What more can I say?

He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool
He’s the one that makes them say “Not Right”
He’s the one they call Dr. SurfTool
He’s gonna be your TanningStein

Let him surf your soul, just take his hand
(Dr. SurfTool)
He’s got that weird orange tan
(Dr. SurfTool)
Thinks grandma was such a good bang
(Dr. SurfTool)
Imagine what her granddaughter will do!

*solo* AIR GUITAR *Daniel performing his own song’s solo while on a surfboard*

I’ve got one thing you’ll understand
(Dr. SurfTool)
he’s not what you’d call a righteous man
(Dr. SurfTool)
Dumped Nick, Chelsea’s a Sucker
(Dr. Surftool)
To wind up with this GrannyFucker!
(Dr. Surftool)


13 thoughts on “Dr. Surftool

  1. It turned out so well. I’m thrilled that you were able to get most, if not all, of his surfisms into the song. Also the fact that GF appears makes my day. Tannenstein…that’s the best! hehe

  2. You have no idea how hard it was to get Gnarley, Right on, bounce back and boy’s night out into this song

    But it’s done. Hopefully, so is Chan.

  3. Bravo! So fitting – Dr Douche Bag’s song to the tune of Dr Feelgood. You are a genius. I bet you could get Motley Crue to sing this version on stage.

  4. Daniel Jonas is a god, stop bashing God’s gift to Salem, god’s gift to Chelsea, god’s gift to the world.

    Daniel Jonas is king…Daniel Jonas along with Max Brady are the best MALE CHARACTERS ON THE SHOW. But they can’t compete with Stephanie, Chelsea, Morgan and Melanie who are tied for #1.

  5. Yes Zara, I personally love the ending.

    Mosiac, I knew you would love it. Seriously it’s fun to sing along. I bet you can never hear that song again w/o thinking of this song.

    Terry, I had an inkling you probably wouldn’t like this song. And thanks for letting me know that Max and Daniel are male characters, I’d hardly could tell.

  6. I will have to sing this version along with the original next time I hear it. I’m doing pretty good except for some reason I keep wanting to say “He’s the one they call Dr. Douche Bag”

  7. Hee, Dr. Douchebag is a great name for the song. But I so wanted Surf in there. You can’t sing about Daniel without mentioning surfing.

  8. no u know what is a good song for Daniel


    great song for a great guy.

  9. I think my favorite part is him performing the guitar solo on his surfboard, because you just know (as perfect as he is) that he probably plays the guitar or something similiar.

  10. LOL, perfectly done. You nailed it Really gnarley stuff.
    Dr. Surftool and his eveready surfboard!

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